A Lesson Unlearned

Mama, oh mama. How did you miss this one? Could it be that you were no better at it than I am. Maybe it is something that no mother has yet been able to pass on to her daughter. Maybe it is the eternal lesson unlearned never to be answered in any place or time.

I remember the morning I went away to college. We stopped into Hardee's for a "going away breakfast" of biscuits before we started our journey to Judson. I remember trying to avoid your gaze because I was embarrassed that you were sobbing ever so silently while others looked on.

I remember the last time we sat together in church before I was married. I remember trying to avoid your gaze because I was embarrased that you were sobbing ever so silently while others looked on.

I remember the afternoon of my wedding when you threw yourself across you bed and announced that you could not go to my wedding today as you sobbed, not quite so silently.

I remember the last time I saw you as I boarded a plane for a life in a faraway land. I remember that I could not look back for fear you would see my own tears, but if I had, I am sure that I would have seen you sobbing ever so silently.

I remember all the times I saw the hurt in your eyes and knew it was there because of me, and although I was sorry, knew that I could not do anything to ease your sorrow and pain without losing a little bit of me.

How do you let go? How do you let the little birds spread their wings and try out the winds?

I remember a poster that hung in my elementary school, near Ms. Faye's desk that had the most beautiful picture of an eagle soaring high in a bright blue sky. On the poster were the words,

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't it never was"

How do you ever overcome the fear that your precious child might not return once they fly freely in that big blue sky?