Lesson #4 Don't Expect More Than You Ask For

This story has more than one lesson included but I chose Don't Expect More Than You Ask For as the title because I think it is a universal lesson that we all need to be reminded of every once in a while.

I am lucky to have a mother who caught hold of the concept of "Take Your Daughters To Work Day" long before it was fashionable. Mom happened to work at the same elementary school that I attended up until the 6th grade and every opportunity I could find, I was in her classroom (actually it was a trailer, or if I must be politically correct, a portable classroom). Obviously, she never let me skip an actual class to be with her, but I was there everyday after school, in the summer, and any other time she was working and I didn't have class.

I will never forget the way mom and Mrs. Hood, her colleague, made me feel that I was always helping out by being there. Never, not even once, did I feel like a kid in that classroom. I felt important, proud, and accomplished. Early on, they would let me fix the library area of the classroom or organize the SRA reading kits. As I grew older, I graduated to helping out with decorating the bulleting boards. The older I became, they allowed my responsibilities to grow with me.

When I went away to college, I would return home on Friday afternoons and head straight for the "trailer" to see my mom and Mrs. Hood. These Fridays held a great lesson for me. Many afternoons I would sit with the two of them as they helped a child struggling to read. Patiently and methodically, they would insist that the child sound out each letter of the word until they could decode the phonetic puzzle before them. One afternoon, I was helping a little boy write a caption under a picture that he had drawn - actually, I was telling him what to write. My mom looked over at me and I instantly understood the silent message that she was sending. A few minutes later, she came over and sat down beside the boy and they completed the caption together. After he had gone, my mom explained to me that one of the most important lessons when teaching a child to read is that children will only accomplish as much as you allow them.

If you expect that they can't do something - you will be right. If you expect that they can - they will.

I learned a lot in that classroom. I learned that everyone is not as fortunate as me. I learned that not all parents care that their children are educated. I learned that not all parents believe in their children and sometimes parents just give up. I learned that my mother was not one of those parents.

Treat your children with love and respect. Give them responsibilities and allow them to make mistakes. Motivate and reward them. Believe in them. But, don't expect more than you ask for......